My tea spilt. It was earl grey tea. I just wanted tea. That is all.
I have been looking at anger in my life. And my relationship to it recently.
We’re pretty good friends, Anger and I .
There’s this thing in the counseling world that categorizes the stages of change. Its used in grief. Its used in any type of therapy. It measures a persons desire to change. Change an action, a behavior, move toward healing. Whatever it looks like. So. it measures change in these categories:
Pre contemplation: In this stage. One is not ready to change. More over, one is not even aware that something needs to change.
Contemplation: In this stage, one is made aware that something in their life could be different, and one plans in the near future to take steps to change what is causing suffering.
Preparation : Individuals in this stage have a plan of action , and are getting ready to put that into practice.
Action: In this stage, people have begun making overt changes in their lifestyles. I.e. taking sugar out your diet on a consistent basis. Limiting the number of cigarettes one consumes.
Maintenance : IN this stage, the changes one has made begin to become maintained through continuing the modifications one has made.
What’s all this have to do with the topic of this blog?
The things you are looking to change in your life will not happen unless you are ready for them to change. You cannot force change. Your counselor cannot make you change. Your friends cannot make you change.. YOU. YOU. have to decide that the way you are living life right now is not how you want to continue.
Then, You must realize that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
It took me about 26 years to perfect the relationship , the partnership I built with anger. If I expect it all to go away quickly, the changes I make in my life will not stick.
The hard thing is though, as I wade through this process, I cannot avoid the feelings associated with it. I can choose not to engage in them. But In order to fully heal, I must experience them with a compassionate heart. and open mind.
So, this is where we are. And that is okay.
Where are you in your path to peace?
Are you showing yourself compassion for where you are?
Are you showing yourself compassion for where you’ve been?
Are you showing yourself compassion for not showing yourself compassion?
You can do it.
Be encouraged,
Rachael
