I went to a local conference for Counselors and Social Workers a few weeks ago. It was pretty informational. I enjoyed it. The last session was about self care, and one of the points the speaker drove home was compassion. Compassion Fatigue, Compassion toward your clients, and compassion toward yourself. She sited a rebound Compassion researcher Kristin Neff. Google her . She’s amazing and how I got introduced to being intentional in self compassion toward myself.

Let me be honest. Its hard for me to be compassionate toward myself. I told you in an earlier blog that I am one for Justice.

But all too often, in our  pursuit of justice, justice turns into  judgement and criticism of others , or even more, self judgement and criticism.

When we are unable to incorporate compassion, grace , or even mercy to ourselves and others in a given experience, we invite suffering into our lives.

For example, say you are experiencing isolation , and loneliness, and it is making you feel sad and unknown, but you don’t really want to be around people because you don’t trust them and you KNOW that they are  going to betray you or hurt you in some way, so you stay home , alone, and avoid the possibility all together. What do we have here? 

A Cycle that leaves us trapped.

we feel isolated and alone, but, due to the threat, perceived or possible, we don’t reach out for relationship, which then leaves us feeling isolated, sad , rejected and alone.

In an effort to avoid feeling isolated, rejected and alone, we create a situation where we are isolated , rejected by our own selfs and alone. 

Wait I am not being rejected if I don’t put myself in a place to be rejected. 

Ahhh. You would think. Right? 

Not necessarily.

We are created for relationship.

No matter if we like it , agree with it  or not. No matter if we believe in a higher power , a divine creator , or evolution. It is in our universal human make up to be connected to each other in relationship.

Where does compassion come in ?

Compassion comes in the acknowledgment and acceptance that sometimes we find ourselves in moments of suffering. It’s not a pity party. But , it is intentionally taking a moment to be with the suffering, acknowledging it, and relating to it in a caring , soft way. A way that you would if you were talking with a close friend who was suffering.

Compassion is a key to release yourself from the cycle you find yourself in.

But sometimes its easier to stay in the cycle because it feels safe. It’s not safe, but your mind and emotions know  the environment. It is home. It is known and appears safer than the unknown. So all to often, because of this, people choose to stay where they are. Because , if they move away from it, the fear of not knowing what might or might not happen is greater than the desire to move.

So we stay where we are, believing there’s no other option. But there is. It just requires change. Change is scary. Change requires something from us. Something that we aren’t use to.

The choice is yours. I know you can do it . Do you?

Be encouraged,

Rachael