Anxiety has become a topic that has sparked my interest in my counseling practice and life in general. Specifically, how people relate to it.

Tell me if you can relate to any of this:

When life is going smooth, it is pretty easy to challenge your thoughts. Except for maybe those jokes people tell that you might not get, and you can’t quite figure out what’s funny but you laugh anyway to not give away that you don’t know what is going on. But people are pretty clever and figure it out anyway.. so you laugh… more. 

I digress. Thoughts. When you are experiencing peace within, your mind is able to discern between truth and not truth. For example, when you mess up and you are at peace, it is easy to tell yourself.. ” oh man, I messed up .. here is what I could do differently next time.” And then you can move on , with minimal stewing and dwelling on the thing you messed up on.

However, when anxiety kicks in, your mind plays a mental tape on rewind until another event can come in and replace it.

Examples: You say something you mean as a joke and someone doesn’t laugh, and you’re anxious.. so for the rest of the day, you think about and analyze how stupid you were and all the stupid things that have ever come out of your mouth and really you should just go hide in your closet because you suck at life.

The calm mind , says, Oh man.. that joke didn’t go over well, and maybe I might owe whoever I directed it at an apology. Also, maybe don’t tell the joke. But I am still a cool human and.. my friends know me and they probably aren’t thinking about it. Lets go get coffee.

There are times, though, that anxiety is going to choose to just hang out .. no matter how much we try and challenge our thoughts . This still does not make our thoughts facts.

Here are some concrete things we can put into practice to better ease suffering when anxiety is present.

1. Notice when you are mind- reading, and do your best to come up with an alternative to what your mind is telling you about the person, event or circumstance: Here’s the thing, people don’t think of us as often as our mind tells us they do. And our quirky ways are more often than not endearing and what connects us to people. And if they don’t – we can look at what we need to change within ourselves or change our social group.
2. Focus on your breath and the energy anxiety is creating: Breathing gives us life. Oxygen flows through our bodies to ensure proper functioning. With anxiety, our mind tells our body we are in danger. So breathing and focusing on the breath allows better oxygen flow and naturally calms our system. It grounds us and pulls us back in to the present moment of our current reality.
3. Honor your anxiety: Feelings, like thoughts, come and go on their own. They come with each experience. They are genuinely original and organic. They do not necessarily tell us the truth but they are always valid because they paint our experience. When we can meet each anxious moment with curiosity and openness- it lessens suffering and the feeling will not be fed.
4. Go for a walk: Fresh air does wonders in calming down during a moment where anxiety is present. It also serves as a grounding tool and gets oxygen flowing through our system.
5. Do something you enjoy: Show yourself compassion for the anxiety you are experiencing by taking time to practice self care. You really are doing well. Despite what your mind tells you.

Be encouraged,

Rachael