I enjoy new years. They allow for reflection and goal setting, and gratitude. We all experience many things during the short years we have on earth. Sometimes they are enjoyable, sometimes they are excruciating , but they all make up what we get to call life.

I don’t really have a word for this new year. I don’t really have this huge Word from the Lord or enlightenment to share. I don’t have any realizations to impart.

I just have Gratitude.

I’ve struggled with gratitude in the past. The thought of it would make me cringe and say sarcastic things to avoid what I was experiencing. SO to be able to share this with you is a huge deal for me.

I have gratitude for where life has taken me thus far. 

I have hit a major accomplishment and milestone in my life this year, I became a counselor. I have worked super hard to get to this place. I don’t have all the answers, but I get to help people find their truth. And I couldn’t be more humbled and honored. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to help people experience their freedom and learn about the truth in their life. I believe all people can experience freedom and that your freedom doesn’t look like mine, and mine doesn’t look like yours. I get to walk with people as they figure it out. And the best part, I don’t get to tell them what their truth is. They get to tell me. I love that about life.

To say we know what someone’s freedom is, looks like, or should be, is arrogant. But to meet them where they are and allow them to make that discovery is beautiful.

 

I have gratitude toward the people who have chosen to walk with me through my freedom and as I found my truth. 

In my journey to freedom, I have been angry, bitter, rude, short, closed off and cold. But people chose to pull me closer. To sit by me when the stench of my pain could be noticed for miles. And for that, I am grateful. Life is nothing short of difficult, painful and messy. It is very easy to decide someone isn’t worth the effort, emotional energy and stress it takes to love someone in their difficult seasons of life. And those who are able to hold that vulnerable time for those around them are courageous and the epitome of health and healing.

People cannot save people, but the mere ability to BE , BE connected, engaged and in the ring when things are tough is the pathway to healing and restoration.

The people in my life that have contributed to my health and healing are the ones who said

” yeah, this part is tough and I know you want to punch me in the face, but I am going to sit with you. I am going to stay right here. You are seen.”

” You think you are hard and cold, but I see you, I know you, I know what it looks like when you are avoiding, deflecting and resisting.”

“I’m not telling you where you should be. I am just saying , you’re not as hidden or mysterious as you think.”  “Take your time, you’ll get there.”

These people were okay with my process even when I wasn’t . It didn’t give me license to be a jerk. But they put up necessary boundaries to protect themselves and still be with me in my process. For that I am grateful.

I have gratitude for my progress 

Okay so it probably wasn’t as bad as it felt. But I am telling you. I was an angry kid, and it took a ton of work to move past and heal from it. I have learned to be mindful and respond instead of react. I have learned to have compassion for those around me. I have learned to lean into uncomfortable things. I have learned to see more than my pain in situations. I have learned to honor myself but to also honor those around me.

I have learned to take the focus off of myself.

I have gratitude for every season thus far. And gratitude for those to come.

One thing that I appreciate about mindfulness is that it encourages the one practicing to extend awareness to those who’ve been, those who are, and those who will be. I have always believed you can learn anything anywhere and from anyone if you allow yourself. Mindfulness, has helped me realize that all we have in this life is literally the present moment. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes it is not. Sometimes it breeds joy, sometimes it does not. But in all things there is something to be aware of, to learn from and to find peace in. And for that, I am grateful.

 

Can you find gratitude in your life? For those who have wounded you? For those you love? For those you don’t even know? For yourself?

My hope is that you take steps to find you can. Happy new year everyone.

Be encouraged.

Rachael