Before I start this post, I want to be clear, it probably will not be nice and neat. It probably be raw and honest. It is not coming from a “bitterness toward the church,” but an honest reflection of curiosity and to seek to understand. I am not God, nor do I or you know the true , full purpose or meaning of scripture. Only what we interpret, or how the biblical scholars interpreted said scripture. And, while I do come from a place of believing scripture can be applied through and to any situation: Like anyone, There are still questions and we will never know the full answer, no matter how well we hear the Lords voice, or how gifted we are in words of knowledge, prophecy or any spiritual gift. We are still human. In need of a savior. But I am afraid, in our human-ness, we swing to the other end, and begin to believe that we get to decide things that were never our’s to decide in the first place. But, we chalk it up to “living in a fallen world.” And we dismiss the pain we cause.
This view can be and often is labeled as a Jezebel spirit, a non teachable spirit. And maybe it is. But also, maybe it is the Lord revealing that this is not what he meant. It also could be viewed as a relativistic point of view. Everything is relative. Nothing is good or bad. Maybe it is. I don’t know. I didn’t write the rule book.
We, as a human race, are truly doing the best with what we have in each moment. But man. We are also causing a lot of unnecessary pain.
I was raised in the church, the church home I grew up in was wonderful. I learned a lot from my pastors and youth pastors. I am grateful for them. As I grow older ( a whole 28 years, I know .. 😉 ) I can’t help but wonder if we have it wrong.
No matter how you look at it, we all have events in life, and life experiences that shape and mold the way we view the world. There is no getting around that. And maybe, this is part of that for me. But , I can’t resolve within myself that a God, who hung out with sinners, who called out the women at the well, and knew exactly what she had done, but still loved her and accepted her. A God who loved the man who would eventually rat him out and have him crucified. I can’t resolve that he would come to the western world of Christianity and say, “well done my good and faithful servant, I am well pleased.”
In fact, I almost lean toward the western church resembling the churches in Corinth .
And again, this can be explained away with the “fallen world” argument. But why? Why can’t we truly love. Why does it matter what other people have done in their lives. If we are to be like Christ, doesn’t it say:
If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love – 1st Corinthians 13.
I get it. There is no clear-cut answer. But man. I just long for this.I have a deep passion and concern that we are missing the point. And it truly saddens me.
I am not asking or petitioning everyone to agree with everyone. I am simply asking you , if you read scripture, consider this:
You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right – Romans 14:22
This also empowers me to do the same for those whose convictions are different from mine as well. And to that, I will continue to learn and grow.
Be encouraged,
Rachael