I still have moments that I take things personal and thats okay. 

I still have moments where I am not aware that I am reacting in pain and thats okay

I still have moments where I put walls up and do not realize it, and that’s okay. 

I work daily to grow and be better at noticing and allowing those things to be shifted and worked out in my life. It is a process.

Allowing yourself to be in relationship and connected with people is how we learn and grow. However, as much as that is true. It is important to be able to discern and toss out what is not life – giving in your life.

I have lived life for a long time, believing that people know my life, my life purpose, and what I should do with it, better than I do . And sometimes it rears it head, and flares up. But the awesome thing is this:

No matter what: I can make a choice to become aware of whats going on , re focus , and keep moving forward in the direction that my life is meant to go.

Do I know everything? No. Do I not need people to speak into my life? No. 

As much as we all mean the best for one another, sometimes we get it wrong, and that is okay. Each of us has the ability to take what applies to our lives, and toss out what does not.

Humans are cool. We get to do great things in life if we allow ourselves to be stretched and grown. And we have been given each other to learn and grow from.

There will be people who get it wrong. You will get it wrong. I will get it wrong. And that is okay. As long as we recognize where we have missed the mark, own our mistakes and seek to do better next time.

Here are some steps to be able to honor those people closest to you in your life.

Recognize that we are our own worst enemy: When people have made a poor or unhealthy choice, there is no need to harp on that choice. People beat themselves up mentally enough on their own. The thing that promotes change the most is for the people who are walking through a painful season to know without a doubt that no matter what they have done, your relationship, friendship , and your view of them has not changed. I am not talking about the instances where people have wronged you or crossed a boundary. In these instances, it is important to re-evaluate and make necessary changes when people are wounding you or not respecting your boundaries. I am talking about the times when people have made choices that were not the healthiest or most wise . Sure, we experience consequences for our choices, but the healing comes when we feel supported and known , and loved by those around us.

People receive correction when they do not experience judgment  or condemnation from those administering the correction: The truth is, nobody does anybody good when we sugar coat and avoid hard topics. However, sometimes we help the most when we don’t say anything. Do you know what I mean?

Navigating relationships and life is hard. Adding our judgements and opinions to the equation often times worsens the wound and pushes people away .

Motives are huge. Becoming mindful of our intentions can help us move toward people with compassion , love and opens people to teaching .

Are you pointing things out to people so that they come to your side? 

Are you bringing correction so that people live healthy and successful , peaceful lives?

Are you condemning and judging because it is something you are uncomfortable with? 

Are you bringing correction because you value people and want the best for them? 

We don’t have to agree with people’s choices , but loving and accepting their journey is the key to creating a safe place for change.

Change happens when we make it about meeting people with compassion, not making it about ourselves  and what we think their lives should look like.

Live your life the best you can. Living others lives is way hard , and impossible.

You’re going to be okay. This too shall pass. 

Be encouraged friends ,

Rachael