Okay here is the deal. I think a lot. I am a feeler for sure. So, in my 28 short years of life. I spend a lot of my time thinking about life, how to grow, and I seek those opportunities out. Sometimes I feel like I ask too many questions and that people get annoyed at the fact I find joy in deep conversations.
I like getting to know people and where they have been.
This has not always been the case. And there are still times where I would rather isolate than be open and vulnerable.
I have spent the majority of my life seeking acceptance. I would put myself in other people’s lanes and try to make it fit. Do you know what I mean?
I would try to be the punk kid.. and think that I totally fit that mold, but I did not. At all. Seriously.
I would try to be the “perfect christian ” or what I thought the leadership of that church wanted me to be, and that would only lead to anxiety and depression because I was trying to reach a standard that 1. was unattainable, and 2. It was not me. And 3. I just did not enjoy giving my joy up in an effort to be accepted.
I would also try to pretend that I did not care about anything at all, because in my mind, if I didn’t care, then I wouldn’t feel and no one could reject me.
That didn’t work out either. I actually did think it would for a while but for sure. It didn’t.
So what does it mean to stay on your path?
I am no expert, but for me, it means, zeroing in on what I like to do . What I feel my purpose is in life. You know that questions all counselors ask… “If you had a million dollars , what would you do? ” OR , “In a perfect world , what would your life look like?”
Here is the deal though, we do not live in a perfect world… and we probably don’t have a million dollars or a harry potter magic wand. ( But I really want that last one.)
However, we can do what we enjoy in life. It is possible.
But it takes work.
I have wanted to be a counselor since I was tiny. Literally, when I say, I enjoy deep conversations. I mean it. I set a goal, and I accomplished that goal , and am still working toward it. But it is my career. It is my life’s purpose. Do I have all the answers? No. Did , do I want to throw in the towel sometimes? Yes. But I keep going, because it is what I am good at.
When we try to fit into someone else’s life path, we end up wounding ourselves and setting ourselves up for failure.
It is when we become aware and at peace, and are willing to take the steps necessary to build the life we want, is when we begin to walk in the lane we are meant for.
I am not meant to work in a church. I am not meant to be a banker. I am not meant to be a medical doctor, or nurse, or anything numerically minded. I am not meant to be a school teacher. I am not meant to drive large trucks.
I am meant to meet each person I come in contact with compassion, acceptance, and to provide a safe environment for them to work the hard , messy things of life out in. Cool thing is, I can do that as a counselor, or in my daily life. Both. Its pretty cool. I get to be a safe place for people and it is awesome.
What do you like to do?
Are you walking your path?
Be encouraged,
Rachael