Can I be honest? If I think about it too much, I can begin to obsess over approval.

Did I upset them?
Did I over react?
Did I show too much emotion?
Are they taking advantage of me?
Will they take advantage of me?
What steps do I need to take to avoid this?

The questions above are not bad to ask myself in general. That being said, if I let them rule my life, I will experience suffering.

It is healthy to have insight of how we are interacting with those around us.

For me- I spent the majority of my childhood and adolescence… and the better part of my college days – on guard about who might do something to hurt , make fun of, offend , take advantage of me… etc.
In the same breath , I believed that the way I responded to people was bad, would upset them, or hurt them.

Have you ever heard the saying…hurt people hurt people?

It's taken a long time for me to understand this.

No matter what , I will feel, I will think , and I will behave .

And, because I am not perfect, I will have moments where, due to my own moment of suffering, no matter how much mindfulness I practice,until the day I die- I will make mistakes , my actions will effect those around me, and I will ask for forgiveness.

I have always heard the following :

Don't let the sun go down on your anger….
Don't sin in your anger…
Turn the other Cheeck …
Go to your brother if he has sinned against you, if he doesn't repent, take another with you, and if that doesn't work: take it before the church.

All of this is well and good , but we must take into consideration our universal humanity.

What do we do with the feelings, thoughts and emotions we are still left with while we make sure we've not sinned ?

What do you do when a situation doesn't turn out how you think it "should"?
Or the person or people you feel have harmed you don't have Holy moment, come to Jesus moment where they realize you've been right the whole time ?

I'd like to explore this further in the next blog. Hopefully it is helpful for you also.

Perhaps we aren't right 100 percent of the time.
Maybe we aren't the only ones whose mind and emotions tell us we are.

Be encouraged,

Rachael