
I have been reading The Daily Stoic for a few weeks now. And I have gotten a lot out of it. I think more though, because I have accepted it as a part of my growth in my mindfulness practice, it has provided a deeper understanding and personal growth in a few main areas.
Here are a few things:
Learning to continually accept my present moment. This means that no matter what that experience holds, I am now able to meet it with curiosity and compassion instead of judgement and wishing it were different. For the longest time, I equated meeting an experience with curiosity as meeting it with judgement. Here was my thought process: “I have to figure out why I am doing something I want to be different, so I can know why I am doing it and stop doing it, and then if I hold guilt and blame over myself, then it will keep me from doing it again.
This belief system I held only caused suffering. It was only when I accepted that part of the human condition is that we all, at some point in our lives, make mistakes, say things that are hurtful or unhelpful unintentionally, or intentionally. We are all flawed, and this sense of “everyone else is doing better than I am at life” simply was not an attainable standard. Because I am me. You are you. We are like apples and oranges. We are each unique. So is each experience. It is met with its own newness, and that is beautifully freeing.
When I find myself in a moment of suffering, brought on by judgement or self-criticism, all I simply need to do is make note of it, make the necessary shifts of perspective, and then continue on my day.
This one, like many things, is a process. However, even if it does take me a minute to realize I am being hard on myself, or criticizing , judging , and not showing compassion to my experience, or those around me. I can change that , make the appropriate acknowledgements and apologize if necessary , and then move forward. This takes so much pressure off. And it is cool.
I have the ability to shift my awareness at any point. I have the ability with in me to accept, befriend and honor my experience.
Anxiety has been a place of suffering for me for the majority of my life. In fact, just this week, someone asked me my thoughts on the subject of mindfulness, and I did not like my response. My mind told me that it was insufficient and, therefore, made me seem incompetent. My mind mold over this for at least a whole day. Anxiety came in and gave me a list of reasons why I sucked at life and should just quit everything and crawl in a hole. This was a huge moment for me because , a few years ago I would have taken that as truth, shut down and crawled in a hole of isolation to prepare myself to not get rejected. But this time, I was able to observe what my mind and emotions were going through and honor that. I was anxious for a day, but that did not make me incompetent or insufficient. And I could have compassion for myself. I can make note of it, and respond differently next time, and that is simply okay. I am grateful for life, and each new moment of growth I get to experience. I hope to have more of them. And the cool thing is, as long as I hold an open space for that, I will.
Are you showing yourself compassion or judgement?
Could your perspective shift in any way?
How are you honoring your experience right now?
Be encouraged Friends,
Rachael