You know those projects where you are trying to find the center of your wall to hang things straight or even? I am not very good at this. But I have friends who are and I am eternally grateful for them. Wall hangings aren’t the point of this blog.. but finding balance and equanimity is . This concept, of being stable through any situation has become a goal of mine. By stable, I mean even keel. Or for you visual people.. take your hand lay it palm down .. and move it out in front of your body slowly from left to right at a level place. Yeah… that.
Consistent.
I am working toward not attaching myself to emotions or situations, because they change. This concept has been a game changer for me in my life. I talk a lot about mindfulness and its impact on my life. But seriously. It has changed my life in a positive way, and will continue to as I grow in it.
I am finding that choosing to be centered is a daily adventure. Even more so.. each moment in our lives is an opportunity to remain centered. Remain balanced. Emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I would like to take this opportunity to tell you.. if you are not already aware.. the Idea of people, and / or being in relationship with people has only recently taken a positive stance in my mind.
But you are working to become a counselor.. that doesn’t make sense.
You are totally right.. To that I say: I too am human .. and have room to grow.. and am working through that.
Let me also say.. I actually do love people. I have always loved people and sitting with them in hard places.
But the roadblock I have is allowing people to sit with me in hard places. Again.. I am working on this.
What is the common factor… turning point, you ask?
Finding my Center. Seriously, Once the foundational truth that I can be okay no matter what people say, think about me, or do to me .. was laid, the concrete has been poured and settled .. and reconstruction .. healing of my heart has been underway. It has been so painful. I have made poor choices.. but Gods grace and faithfulness has overwhelmed me and he is healing me like no other.
My friend, God is bigger than the boxed up idea you have in your head about the way he works.
I have experienced the Lord more through people “outside the church” in the past few years than ever before. And my Ideas of the people “inside the church” have also been torn down and re built. Because.. well.. IM wrong a lot .. Lot .. of the time. And learning that and coming to terms with that has been a huge part of my journey of being balanced.
I have room to grow.. we all do. If we are not growing .. we are dying. I want to grow. I am thankful for growth. I am thankful for people, relationships .. and a God who is not afraid to completely gut my heart sometimes and re build.
Here’s the thing though: Just because I am in a season of re building.. does not mean that I am un useable by the Lord. Or that his plan for me in this season is any less useful than those who appear “farther along in their walk.”
What does that even mean? My walk looks nothing like those around me.. and the most freedom I have found is not taking stock in where people think I “should be” Because The Lord is showing me this.
Where I am in this moment, is perfect because it is where I am. There is no reason to wish it different. It is great just the way it is.
Does that mean I stay where I am? No. But I do savor each moment and glean and learn what I can from each moment and situation.
Where is your center?
What steps do you need to take to find it?
What would it look like if you stopped comparing your center to those around you?
Be encouraged Friends
– Rachael
