Good gravy. I have a lot of thoughts in my head and I have been struggling to get them out clearly for a bit. So here’s to hoping that this blog makes sense.
I have told you before that I struggle with compassion. I also struggle with grace and mercy. I struggle with letting people off the hook, and I struggle with showing that grace and mercy and compassion to myself. I am hard on myself.
But, I think, if we are honest, we all find ourselves in this place. We are able to see the Gold and speak truth into other people’s lives, but we do not offer those same snippets of freedom to ourselves. This is what I have been working on, and by working on, I mean, I am aware of it, and I attempt and fail daily at extending this to myself.
I heard a talk once by someone from Bethel Worship (Its awesome, you should check it out) and the speaker asked a question.
Would you be Friends with Yourself?
By that, she meant, the way you talk to yourself, the words you speak over yourself, would you be friends with that person?
My answer? No.
I am horrible to myself. I don’t treat myself with Compassion and Grace , nor do I show myself mercy. I expect myself to reach incredibly high, unattainable goals, and be superwoman sometimes. I mull over and over in my head what I do wrong. I filter what comes out of my mouth for fear that I will sound unpleasant or make myself “look bad.”I eat horribly because my brain tells me that I am “comforting myself.”
But Here’s the Thing. At some point , I have to choose to love myself. I have to choose daily, that I am going to honor the person the Lord made me to be. Every part of it. Even the parts I wish were different.
Also, here’s another hard truth. Sometimes, it is more comfortable to stay miserable than it is to change.
But , this is a false reality. Satan skews our vision, and we believe that our “trash” is more safe, and comfy than living the abundant life the Lord so freely gives us.
So, what do I do? I take each day as it comes. I do my best to be as honoring and compassionate to myself in each moment. And have grace for myself in the many moments I fail at doing this.
Also, I turn my focus off of myself, and continue to love those around me and enjoy life.
How are you honoring yourself and being compassionate to yourself this week?
How are you showing compassion , grace and mercy to those around you?
Be encouraged friends
Rachael