Hello There

I haven’t written in a while. So I thought I would.

Let me start by telling you a little about myself if you haven’t been here before.

• 

My name is Rachael ,

I am a licensed professional counselor here in West Texas. I work with people experiencing and healing from trauma and abuse. I help people find strength in their story. To understand that we all have within us the ability to overcome obstacles and trauma. Its incredibly rewarding. And I wouldn’t be doing anything different. I firmly believe that I have been called to this profession, and I am honored to get to walk with people and also see them experience freedom.

My life is blessed. I have a family that is loving and supportive. And I have people in my life that I am grateful to call friends.

All of these things are things that I have taken for granted for the majority of my life. Not on purpose, but because, somewhere along the way, something stuck with me and I began to believe that I was not worth relationship or connection. So , naturally I began to live life from that belief.

Unhappiness comes when you try to be like everyone else rather than embracing the unique person that you are – Joyce Meyer

Here’s the deal…

We are all human. We cry, we struggle, we have insecurities, we have victories and we feel. We all experience life in some form or fashion. The difference is , we each have different perceptions and views. Those views and filters are based on our experiences in life. Different experiences produce different outcomes. Trauma,and different hardships can distort how we experience life if not fully healed.

For me, I carried a lot of shame toward myself and who I was. I believed from a very young age that I was not normal, and I spent a lot of my life rejecting myself and trying to be “like everyone else.” This did nothing for me, but create suffering. I wanted very much to be myself, and I would create and build relationships, and then something would kick in… insecurity, shame and fear, and I would subconsciously do things to sabotage relationships. I made an agreement that to shut down, or be present with life or the people in my life would make me feel better, and It was better than what I was currently experiencing. I’ve done a lot of work to heal that in me, because I knew that it wasn’t helpful, and frankly, I was tired of hurting because, I wasn’t ready to admit it, but what I was doing wasn’t working for me.

The only thing it actually did, was isolate me, and cause pain to those around me. I am having to learn to forgive myself for that choice daily.

There is a technique that I use often with my clients when they are having difficulty not taking their feelings as facts. It is called Opposite action.

The description is in the title. The object is to do the oposite of what you are feeling or thinking.

So, If you believe that no one wants to be around you, call a friend and go to coffee.

If you feel like you’re not worth relationships, put yourself out there and start building relationships. Learn what is healthy and unhealthy , but you get the gist. Sometimes our feelings and thoughts are not truth. They are just feelings , they are just thoughts. They do not always require action. In fact, if we learn to sit with , explore, and see if there is something we are needing within, we often suffer less.

I do want to put a disclaimer here… This is not saying , “hey – because I feel like being kind to someone, I should do the opposite and punch their lights out.” Not what I am saying.

In Christianity , it comes in the form of the scripture that says,

• 

We must , in all circumstances become aware and active in challenging our actions, thoughts and feelings.

If we do not, we become slaves to our emotions, and because they are ever evolving and changing, we will continually be on a roller-coaster that we cannot get off.

For me, taking oposite action comes in the form of embracing my own story and sharing to the amount that I am comfortable, but sharing as an act of acceptance, empowerment and gratitude for the path set before me.

For the next couple of weeks, maybe longer I don’t know, I will begin to share my story mindfully and appropriately. The parts that spark fear and shame. I’ll share different parts in different ways. Because that is where freedom comes from. Being fully present in the whole experience.

 Mindfulness is about love and loving life. When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that.” Jon Kabat-Zinn

Be encouraged,

Rachael