Today is my grandmothers birthday . She died 3 months ago.  She was a cool human. I still have a voice mail from like 3 years ago, of her singing me happy birthday. Its cool. I love her.

As much as we may not realize in a technological, independence driven world, we are meant for connection – and loss is a stout reminder of that.

Grief is a process that is unique to each person. Anniversary’s , birthdays and other significant , special occasions can send us back through the grieving process.

Sometimes, you may feel like you are moving past something, and one of these events happens and you’re right back at square one, and that is okay.

If you are working through grief, I wanted to give you an encouraging word, that you are not alone. Where you are is okay, and loss is hard. Here are some specifics that help get us through tough times.

1. Do what you can. – Sometimes, when we are grieving, experiencing depression, or a particularly difficult time it is important that we remember that if, today, all I was able to do was, get up , go to work, and come home, that is good enough. You can do anything for 10 minutes. If you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, break your day down in to smaller segments that seem less overwhelming. Do what you can for 10 minutes, once that passes, do the next thing for 10 minutes, and so on…
2. The fragility of life makes some of the daily tasks and things we worry about seem mundane: It is normal if you begin to experience a feeling of needing to reevaluate where you are putting your time and energy. Suddenly, the fight over who picks up or who doesn’t might not seem worth worrying about in the long run.
3. It may be wise to visit with a trusted friend or professional to talk through what you are experiencing in your grief. We are not meant to walk this life road alone. When we isolate and stuff what we are feeling: Unhealthy habits can form. Reach out. 

For me, I noticed it yesterday. Yesterday, I felt a steady, constant anxiety all day. I was jumpy , my sarcasm teetered on borderline rude and I felt emotional. I also had mindfulness group last night, so I got to sit with all of this. And honestly, if it wouldn’t have been for the fact I wasn’t close to the door at all, I probably would have left. It was difficult to sit with.  Today, It was surprisingly less difficult, but I was aware of myself. I knew I needed to watch my actions and responses, and I am pretty okay with how the day went. I handled it well.

Death is hard. It is a reminder that all of this, living breathing, functioning , will end .  The peace comes when we embrace these hard truths, and understand that it is what we do with this time that we have that truly matters. I get to reflect on my grandmother today, and I am so glad I did. She reminds me of joy. She reminds me to step back and not take things so serious. She reminds me to love and be open. She reminds me to laugh.

I am glad she was born. I am so glad she lived. And I am honored to be a part of her lineage.

 

What will you leave?

Are you at peace with how you are living life?

Are you enjoying life?

 

 

Be encouraged,

Rachael