The title of this one is funny to me. But that’s another subject. Probably not making the blog. But it is super funny right now.

I’ve been on a process of adopting stoicism as a way of life, along with other values and principles I hold. And it has been helpful. And also, it has been hard. But I am thankful.

Stoics and Stoicism is geared around the belief that situations and circumstances in our lives are neither good or bad , but they are neutral, and that it is our beliefs, perceptions and feelings about said events and circumstances that bring suffering.

 

When we become attached to our belief about ourselves or circumstances, whether positively or negatively, we suffer because at some point the high of a positive emotion will come down, and the tape of a negative belief about ourselves will continue to play as long as we feed it.

One of the most helpful things Stoicism brings to the table for me, is that it has taught me that feelings and emotions pass. Cravings pass, nothing is eternal.

*Now, clarification here: I am not talking about the Christian belief of eternal life. This blog is solely about the non – permanence of our thoughts and emotions about life. 

 

There is a journal that goes along with the Daily Stoic . It is 366 days of meditations to process . One of the prompts stuck out to me . It said

“will you even remember this fight a month from now?

Now, you could think back through your day and if you are having an actual fight with someone, realize that more than likely, the event will pass, and emotions will die down, and you will come to an agreement, resolution and conclusion at some point.

But where does that leave the grudges we hold , or the internal battles we have with ourselves?

Then I realized, It all comes down to choice, and attachment.

We hold beliefs because we relate and have chosen to follow the core values our belief system presents. We attach ourselves to the ways and practices of that belief system, and form our lives around it.

Here’s the thing though: The same goes for how we view ourselves.

We go through life taking and perceiving  the world around us through this worldview , and it in turn shapes who we are. That is: We shape our view of ourselves based on what those around us have told us, the characteristics we inherently carry from our parents and families.

Even more the moments where we were bullied, told we were fat, told we were ugly, told that we weren’t smart. Told that we were pretty. Told that we were funny.

Our brains attached an emotion of shame, guilt , joy , whatever that is for you: And we began to live our lives to either produce more of that moment, or make sure we never felt that way again.

But what the goal is, is to realize that all of this is neutral. People’s opinions, our opinions, they truly do not matter. But we suffer when we grab on to them because then they become our source of happiness. And that will never be sustainable. Because feelings change, opinions change.

For me, I realized – I am attached to my view of myself. I mean, me and my self concept like, we, we were a good team. We  successfully accomplished the goal originally set out.

But when we realize things need to shift, that attachment causes suffering.

Truth is, change is scary, and to challenge our beliefs takes courage. It is no small feat.

Cool thing though? We are all learning and growing, evolving and maturing. And that gives me hope.

 

Do you have beliefs that you need to challenge?

Have you seen how far you have come?

What are you attached to?

 

Be encouraged ,

Rachael