Man, I have not wanted to blog .  I have actually written a few blogs, then deleted them because anxiety talked me out of it. I haven’t wanted to do much of anything. I have had a steady feeling of inadequacy, anxiety and just a constant sense that something is wrong.

But I can’t find anything . Nothing is wrong. Literally.

I have a roof over my head.

I have food to eat and clothes to wear.

I have a job that is amazing and I get to have cool conversations daily.

I have really cool people who I get to call friends.

And I have a family that I love.

I am grateful for it all.

Except… I have feelings, and my default is to avoid feelings, good or bad. I have an inherent belief that feelings and emotions are wrong. They are bad.

Hence the, thinking something is wrong.

The cool thing is, I have learned to sit with what my experience is. The cool thing is, I have learned not to let  my feelings toward my experience  dictate my actions.

Seriously, It is a cool realization of growth for me.

One of my greatest growth moments was to learn that I could experience a neutral , peaceful relationship with my feelings and emotions. That they were not good or bad. They just were.

They were a natural response everyone’s body had. They were given to us, but that they do not always tell us the truth.

They tell us we are afraid: But we do not have to act in fear. 

They tell us when we are happy : But that doesn’t last eternally.

They tell us when we are hurt: But we don’t have to react in anger.

They tell us when we need to show ourselves compassion . But we don’t have to live as victims. 

They tell us when we need to ask for help: But they don’t mean we are helpless. 

In all of this, I have learned to accept feelings and emotions for what they are: avenues that paint our experience, and bring color to our lives. I have learned to embrace, lean in to and explore feelings and emotions in a non judgmental way. It is a moment of freedom for me, and I am humbled.

What is your relationship with your feelings and emotions ?

Do you view them as positive or negative?

Take a moment to look at your current experience in an open manner. What is truly wrong?

Can you find peace?

Be encouraged

Rachael