
Man, I have not wanted to blog . I have actually written a few blogs, then deleted them because anxiety talked me out of it. I haven’t wanted to do much of anything. I have had a steady feeling of inadequacy, anxiety and just a constant sense that something is wrong.
But I can’t find anything . Nothing is wrong. Literally.
I have a roof over my head.
I have food to eat and clothes to wear.
I have a job that is amazing and I get to have cool conversations daily.
I have really cool people who I get to call friends.
And I have a family that I love.
I am grateful for it all.
Except… I have feelings, and my default is to avoid feelings, good or bad. I have an inherent belief that feelings and emotions are wrong. They are bad.
Hence the, thinking something is wrong.
The cool thing is, I have learned to sit with what my experience is. The cool thing is, I have learned not to let my feelings toward my experience dictate my actions.
Seriously, It is a cool realization of growth for me.
One of my greatest growth moments was to learn that I could experience a neutral , peaceful relationship with my feelings and emotions. That they were not good or bad. They just were.
They were a natural response everyone’s body had. They were given to us, but that they do not always tell us the truth.
They tell us we are afraid: But we do not have to act in fear.
They tell us when we are happy : But that doesn’t last eternally.
They tell us when we are hurt: But we don’t have to react in anger.
They tell us when we need to show ourselves compassion . But we don’t have to live as victims.
They tell us when we need to ask for help: But they don’t mean we are helpless.
In all of this, I have learned to accept feelings and emotions for what they are: avenues that paint our experience, and bring color to our lives. I have learned to embrace, lean in to and explore feelings and emotions in a non judgmental way. It is a moment of freedom for me, and I am humbled.
What is your relationship with your feelings and emotions ?
Do you view them as positive or negative?
Take a moment to look at your current experience in an open manner. What is truly wrong?
Can you find peace?
Be encouraged
Rachael