It seems to me, that when we are working through things, there appears to be a theme in each season.

The theme of forgiveness, from my experience, deals with hurt , feelings of blame, be it blaming ourselves or the one who hurt us.  Dealing with feelings of wrong doing. Dealing with resentment and anger.

Healing comes when we can acknowledge the wrong doing, all the feelings it creates and then find within ourselves the courage to forgive everyone involved.

Often times , where many of us (including myself) get caught up , or stuck in the process of forgiveness, is reconciling within ourselves the fact that forgiving ourselves or someone else does not give and is not a free pass, or justification for the wrong done.

See , holding grudges, and holding offenses in our lives serves a purpose.

We find power in believing that us holding the grudge, or withholding forgiveness means that the other person is suffering.

We find justification and pleasure in believing that because we are still holding on to things of the past, the other person is indebted in some way to us.

We find satisfaction in believing that we are holding the other hostage in our minds by withholding  compassion, forgiveness and being angry.

The truth is , really, none of this is truly happening. It is a lie. And the people we are angry with, not forgiving and holding a grudge against, more than likely have moved on and have no clue that we are angry, hurt or wounded by them. They’ve moved on.

What does that mean for me, if I am not forgiving?

Well, honestly, it means that you are suffering.

It means that you are allowing your mind to actually hold you hostage in this harmful belief pattern and thought cycle.

You are the one who gets the raw end of the deal here.

 

Let me be clear. It does not excuse or dismiss any wrong doing or injustice that happened to you.

Forgiveness says: I value myself enough to let go of what has been so that I can move toward success and peace.

 

Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong doing.

Forgiveness does not always mean going back into the situation or re engaging in a friendship or relationship, or forgetting that something happened that hurt you.

Forgiveness is simply honoring yourself enough to not let a situation , relationship, or harmful event have a hold of your life or dictate what you do and do not do  in life.

Honestly, it is the key to freedom.

Forgiveness is a daily choice. A choice to say, even on days where the hurt and injustice is excruciatingly painful, I choose to forgive you. I choose to move and walk in peace.

 

Same goes for yourself.

Forgiving yourself means that you choose daily to live and experience life to the fullest even when you feel like you deserve the worst. Its honoring your human condition and having compassion for yourself in your pain.

Forgiveness is choosing to start fresh each day, and practice forgiveness even when you didn’t do a very good job of it the day before.

 

You are worth forgiveness.

I am worth forgiveness.

We are worth forgiveness.

Be encouraged,
Rachael