Ok, first things first. I had a brain freeze and couldn’t remember what facade meant. Here is a definition if you are wondering. And if not, I’m going to share anyways.
Facade : an outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.
“her flawless public facade masked private despair”- Per google
Man. I think it is safe to say that we all do this at one point or another in life. We put on make up to conceal or cover up stupid pimples, or blemishes we see and don’t like on our faces. We go to the salon to get our eyebrows waxed because, 1. The ladies at the salon tell us condescendingly that our eyebrows could really use their help , and 2, We want to appear to others that we woke up that way. With perfectly shaped eyebrows and such.
This caused me a lot of anxiety growing up. And frankly, still does to a lesser extent today.
I always knew something was different about me. I had this lingering feeling that people had it better off than me in some specific ways. 1. I walk weird. Or , I mean , its only weird because someone , who I couldn’t figure out for the longest, set these unspoken social norms and such. 2. I say awkward things… Again with the social norm stuff. I’m tellin ya. 3. My body doesn’t look like those around me. Now I want to be very clear, this is not a poor me, I am suffering , feel sorry for me , blog. In fact, such responses would defeat the purpose of the blog. For those who read to feel loved and encouraged.
I let these things, and sometimes, if I am being honest , still do let these things have a huge stronghold in my life, my worth as a human, and just how I experience my daily life. It is exhausting, and very taxing on the brain. But, I realized that I would never measure up in the areas listed, and I knew that I could do better in the area of people pleasing and my Religion. And by religion, I do mean following rules . This path that I thought would compensate for my lack, lead me down a path of self-deprecation and a great deal of suffering. I had put up a facade and had everyone convinced that I had everything together, never messed up, and had no qualms about life. I even would allow people to laugh and joke at my expense, because , if they were laughing, they were happy, my goal and mission was complete.
My friends. People who love you, value you, do not make your life situation a point of humor to build relationship with others. And also, if you are okay with joking and sarcasm, which I am now too, I ask that you evaluate it and make sure that you are not being unconsciously wounded. If you are, the people who love you will understand, and they will stop if you ask.
I think living alone has capitalized on this too. I don’t know how many times I have been alone with my thoughts, and this tape of “everyone has it way better than you, and can live life more successfully than you.” Tape plays in my head. So here is my challenge for you.
- Please know you are not alone, there is someone waking up everyday , putting on a facade in public , but secretly dealing with an unpleasant reality just like you.
- Though no one can fully understand your experience and situation, we all have some relatable unwelcome sidekick.
- Be open, be vulnerable with those who you know are safe around you. You never know what moments God has waiting, to bless you both and let you know you are loved and not alone.
Even though it is super simple to get trapped in this, no one knows what I am dealing with, and I am the only one dealing with this issue. That is simply not true, and the best you can do is reach out to safe people and let them love on you in your pain.
Be real.
Be encouraged my friends
Rachael
