Doing grief work , I sit with people as they process through a lot of unfinished business they did not get to work through with the Loved one that has just died. When someone we love dies, weather suddenly, or expected, loosing someone close to us is traumatic. Think about it, say, you’ve been married to your spouse for 60 some-odd years ( random number, you get what I mean) . You have spent countless hours day in and day out for this period of time, not counting the amount of time you spent together while dating. Then, one day, this person is taken out of your life. Just like that. It hurts , its horrible. the pain is often unbearable.
In order to make some sense of this event, our brains go into overdrive to rationalize and often try to come up with some reason of how we could have stopped this from happening.
“Maybe if I would have noticed the signs sooner.”
“Maybe if I would have waited one more day, They would have survived.”
“I yelled at him, I shouldn’t have done that, surely that is the thing that set all of this into motion.”
“If I would have been with them, I could have prevented this from happening.”
“I should have told them I loved them more.”
The list goes on. It is a natural process for us to try to find some sort of rational to process this unfair situation that put us into a club that we didn’t want to be in, nor did we ask to experience.
The thing that I have learned in doing grief work is this: We all are doing the best we can with what we have in any situation. Could we make better choices sometimes? For sure. But all we can do is become aware of the places we want to do better in, and take each day as an opportunity to do so. Death puts things into perspective. Lives become sweeter, and relationships more appreciated.
What is something you’ve been meaning to say to someone lately? Take the next opportunity you have to do so.
Is there anything that you are wanting to clear up with anyone? Do it. You’ll be glad you did.
We only get to do this life thing once. Try not to take it for granted.
Be encouraged friends
Rachael
Accepting The Peace 