So , This prompt is best explained with a story of the time I had a full on panic attack because of a phone.
A few years a go, I was working through a lot of personal things. I was accepting that I had a lot of anxiety and panic stored up in my body. One day, it all came to a head for me in the form of losing my phone at school one day. I was at LCU , in the undergrad department, just beginning my degree in psychology. I was in between classes one day, and I was in the computer lab of the building where my classes where, and I left to go somewhere, I am not sure where. When I got to said destination, I realized that I had misplaced my phone. Now, this, in it self was no big deal, as this was, and still is a common occurence in my life. I lose things frequently due to a lack of organization. As I realized I had misplaced my phone , I did what I had learned to do. I re traced my steps. I checked my car, I checked my backpack, my back pocket, and then, I checked the computer lab that I had previously been in.
When I got to the lab, I asked the kind lady in the lab if she had seen a little black phone. ( I need you to know that this phone was nothing spectacular. ) She said yes, that she had seen it lying by a computer, and one of her students said they would take it and bring it to me. I am going to be honest, and tell you , this caught me off Gard. And looking back , began the downward spiral that would ensue. I calmly asked the person who she gave it too, and she could not tell me the name of the person. Now , I need you to also know that I kept to myself a lot during this time, and so I could not imagine who she would have given it to because I had not seen anyone I knew that day.
So let me tell you what my brain was telling me during this time.
- Who gives some random stranger a phone and trusts that they would get it to the right person.
- My phone was gone forever and I would miss out on all the important or emergent things that happened during that day.
I would allow these two , irrational thoughts to dictate the rest of my day.
I had class soon after this had transpired. But I was too keyed up to sit in class (over a phone) so I asked the professor to be excused for the day. I then frantically looked for my phone and proceeded to walk into the office of the building I was in and have a panic attack. My mind was racing 100 miles an hour, I even called family members to try to get some sympathy and relief for my situation.
Writing all this out, it still causes me embarrassments because it still makes no sense. But I right it to bring awareness.
- Our minds are powerful things. If we do not learn to tell what is truth , and rational, and learn to cope and combat the irrational thoughts, our bodies will have a physical reaction, which turns a I lost my phone for a bit, to, I will no longer have any contact with anyone, ever. And I will proceed to have shortness of breath, shaky limbs and cry over said phone.
- Panic and anxiety are very real things. A person who is experiencing these moments is trying themselves to understand why something as simple as a lost phone would set them into a spiral.
- Just because you can see that what the person in panic and anxiety is experiencing is irrational, they cannot in that moment.
- It is not something that can always be controlled, and telling someone they need to get a better handle on their emotions often makes it worse , because it sends a message of shame and lack in a situation that they are already beating themselves up over.
- The best thing to do for these people experiencing these moments is for you yourself to remain calm, compassionate and loving. It helps bring the person back to a place of center.
Lastly, I just would like to say, I can look back on this situation and see how far I have come and how much I have grown. I have learned to take my thoughts captive and stay present . I know this by the fact that just today, my weirdo dog decided to get out of her collar and run the streets of my apartment. Past Rachael would have ran and began bereathing heavily and freaked out that she lost her dog before she even was gone forever. But this time, I walked calmy and patiently untill my dog came back. I am so glad I am not in that place anymore, but I am thankful for the people who met me where I was and helped me in the journey of understanding my panic and anxiety. I would not be in the place I am without them. So, if you are one of those people reading this, Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Be encouraged friends.
Rachael
Accepting The Peace 