Have you ever been in that place?  Or had someone tell you that would be your “cure-all”?

Just let it go. 

Theres a whole Disney song about it. (I’m not knocking it.. I enjoy that movie. )

How do we let go of something when we aren’t even sure what it is?

We just know that we need to let go of something. Because that will make us feel better… theoretically.

The hard thing is , sometimes it is hard to put our finger on what is bothering us or causing difficulty and suffering in our lives.

The cool thing is, in all of it , we have a choice. A choice to look, and reach out for help from the appropriate people, or we can choose to stuff it down and keep moving until we can’t anymore.

The truth of the matter is that we cannot heal what we do not acknowledge

And whether we like it or not, until we acknowledge our pain, it will continue to show up in our lives in unhelpful ways. In all of this, however, nothing is forced  on us. If we want to ignore what is hurting us, we can. If we want to heal what is hurting us, we can . No one, no thing is forcing or making us choose which direction we go.

Healing is painful. And it is important to find a place where you can heal at your pace, in your time, in the way you need to. Our brains have an amazing, awesome ability to heal if we give them the space to do so.

 

Here’s the deal though: just as no one and no thing can force us to do the work, not even we can force our beings to heal until we are ready. It’s the coolest thing. Let me explain.

Our bodies have this fight flight or freeze response that protects us when there is a threat of danger. It is naturally wired into us for survival. The difficult thing here is or brains cannot tell the difference between real or perceived threat. Therefore; no matter if the threat is real or perceived, our bodies will respond the same way.

Our brains do the same thing with emotional pain. If our brains are not ready to access a painful, or emotionally charged scenario or memory, it will immediately distract itself by swapping whatever you are thinking about with some other memory that is not so heavy.

This happens a lot with those who have experienced some type of trauma or traumatic event.

This is where you hear things like ” I cope with humor.” And humor is a great way to cope. I am a user of sarcasm and humor myself. (Especially when I talk about my driving skills.. but that is another topic for another day .. :))

Sometimes, when our bodies and brains are not able to access something difficult that we are trying to heal, it is easy to judge ourselves and say things like…

I wish I could just deal with this already

I feel like they are milking it for all its worth

Why can’t they just realize that it’s not that big of a deal

We’re talking about this AGAIN?

 

We’ve all been there. But here is where mindfulness, and meeting each moment with a friendly curiosity and not judging it comes into play. If I am honest, I find myself judging my experience, and wishing it was less overwhelming, or that I didn’t feel the way I do about any given situation. Or that I drive bad , or that I said something stupid, or irrelevant. However, if we can be soft and compassionate to what we are experiencing , we can have the capacity to realize that life is really difficult sometimes, and pain is going to be in our lives. Being mindful in our process also helps us realize that, if we are unable to access or figure out what we are needing to let go of. That is okay, simply because that is where we are. There is no rush. There is no time limit. However long it takes is how long it takes.

Acknowledging pain is not a sign of weakness but of courage and strength.

More So – Being able to be present with all of the unpleasant, painful , imperfect parts of ourselves, is the gateway to self acceptance and honoring our human condition.

 

Wherever you find yourself today, I hope that you understand that your pain is deserving of being seen , known and felt. You deserve healing. Simply because you are human.

 

What would it look like for you to take the step to begin healing the parts of you asking to be seen?

Find safe people. People who know how to honor your pain and are not afraid to be with you in your process.

Reach out if you are needing help finding people who are equipped and able to guide you in your process.

Be encouraged,

Rachael