I have become curious and interested in people’s stories, their philosophy on life, and what brought them to function in a specific worldview.

Some of you may read this and begin to think, oh  no, Rachael’s gone off the deep- end, or is in a crisis of faith. And that is okay for you to think that because I cannot control your thinking or belief system.

If you will, I would like to share a bit of my story with you.

I lived life for a very long time believing that there was one right answer to every situation. And when I couldn’t reconcile this in a few instances, I did, if you want to call it that, have a period of questioning my faith. But for me, it is okay to do that. It meant that I was growing. However, I came to an impasse in my life, where, I found myself aware that I was in, what felt like, a never ending cycle. I’ll do my best to paint you a picture.

I would seek spiritual counsel on a subject, I would seek the Lord on a particular subject, and because what I was experiencing was not lining up with scripture, I would seek counsel. But if I am being honest, sometimes when we seek counsel, we mask it as “seeking understanding, ” when in reality, we are just trying to justify our current predicament, or justify our actions.

The honest truth was, I was not okay with myself. I was insecure with myself and the way I fear people saw me.

Even more so, I made up this story of how people saw me. That was sure to do me in, because even if I wanted freedom, deep down I didn’t believe I deserved it, so I would sabotage myself with my thoughts and actions to be sure I held myself captive.

No? Just me? Cool .

This hit a turning point for me recently. See, I was in one of my cycles , where I was doing pretty well, but then something hit a sore spot, a vulnerable spot for me and I had an honest realization. See, I’ve told you before that I believed a lie that people knew how to live my life better than me, and I often let them. And they had all the answers. But , I digress, back to my realization.

I realized that I was trying to force something to fit that was no longer a part of my life path.

Let me explain.

I , at my core, believed that I was doing something wrong, that I needed someone to show me the light. That God, through the people around me would deliver me from this inability to make “correct ” Choices.

The truth is, I am capable of making “correct” choices. The truth is, what other’s find important, or place as a hard and fast rule or value, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are absolutely, 100 percent correct. Nor does it mean that I am 100 percent correct.

It simply means that we are all taking the information we have been given and doing our best to live life.

I came across this quote recently and it has opened up a lot of clarity in my life.

Others can be extremely helpful in showing us our blind spots. Particularly if they cause us to wince, we’d be wise to pay attention to their insights and criticism. But ultimately, we are the ones who know what’s happening in our hearts and minds. We’re the only ones who hear our internal conversations, who know when we withdraw or feel inspired. -The Places that Scare Us

This is from a Buddhist Author. The book is coming from a Buddhist perspective. And here is the thing.

We all have world views. And, once I revealed to you where this quote originated from, your brain automatically made an assumption. And that is okay, its how we work. If something was brought to my attention that does not fit in my worldview then my mind would do the same. It is human nature. 

I have come to believe that I can learn , we can learn from anyone and anything if we allow ourselves to be open to it. And for me, personally, God has used these books and thought processes to free me from a lot of suffering.

But here is the cool thing. I have come to a place where I have realized and accepted that my path is unique to what makes me. Yours is too. And that is really awesome.

So, here is to new journeys. New adventures and learning to walk in human-ness and all it’s uncomfortable, interesting, gut wrenching parts.

Are there belief’s you are holding that are causing you suffering?

Are you willing to accept them, or are you wishing it were different?

Wherever you are. That is okay. It is a part of life. 

Be encouraged,

Rachael