Here’s the thing, I have been sitting on this post for a while now. It is late. Well by late, I mean it is not today’s prompt.
But I think I am ready now.
So, funny thing: Jesus made my legs grow right in front of my eyes. Check out the story here. I kidd you not.
Seriously. It will be 3 weeks this Saturday.. as in Tomorrow, the 1st. And I am not april fools-ing you. (I just made that word a thing right now.)
Here’s another thing.
A lot of people have been asking me if i was in pain after being healed. My first response was No. My legs just literally grew and now I don’t limp.
But then I started thinking about it..
I have been in pain for a while.. before and after the leg growing part. Part of it I explain on the video. The Part where I talk about the night before, and being stand-off ish and putting my stuff on other people.
But more than that, I have been dealing with.. like really pressing into.. a lot of lies that I have believed about myself and how the Lord made me. Truly looking at and being with the anger and sadness that is inside me. I have written several posts about my past actions, and ways of coping with things, and how I cope now too. I have also written a few blogs about mindfulness and how it has literally changed my perspective and coping strategies. I have written about freedom, tried to encourage other readers in their time of suffering or pain .. and all of that is lovely.. great… good… and wonderful. I will keep doing it.
But I can no longer ignore the fact that sometimes, I distract myself with other people’s pain to avoid my own.
So here we are.
In the video, I go into detail about being in my room with the friend I was visiting and not wanting to sit with the things that the Lord was working on to prepare my heart for what was to come. See, I have a really cool story. I have a twin sister, who is awesome in her own right. God created us at the same time for very profound different, world-changing reasons. For one reason or another, I do not always find joy and victory in my story and I often wish it were different. But God has a funny .. and sometimes I mean that very sarcastically, way of working all things together for the good of those who love him. And yes its scripture so .. if you are a believer.. it is true. But sometimes that does not feel true.
But, none the less, I am in a season that I have been avoiding like the plague.. and that is… the irritating .. uncomfortable .. tantrum inducing.. prompt that I have been avoiding.. word…
Acceptance
But the thing is… in this human condition we are all a part of… acceptance and rejection are the keys to freedom or prison. And, even more, either word can lead to both.
I choose freedom. Even though it sucks right now.. watching my legs grow was only the beginning. He will continue to heal me. Even though it sucks. I am grateful. Even in pain, I am thankful. Even when I want to be and am a sarcastic homebody jerk.
This is why I am so pumped to get to counsel, and be with people in their pain.
Healing is more than a growing leg.
It requires you to continue to press in and look honestly at what is causing the pain. Healing is painful. It is hard. But God is good. But just because God is Good doesn’t change the fact that healing is painful. But it does help push through knowing that HE is with you, that he sends people in the flesh to be with you while you are in dark places. I am honored to get to be that for people. Because I have been there. I am looking at and working through hard things. NOT DWELLING. Working. Not working for .. but doing the hard work.
There’s a difference.
Good is here. Good is coming . It is well.
Be encouraged friends
– Rachael