God’s timing is always perfect. The past couple of weeks, he has been showing me areas for growth. I generally welcome these moments, but this one, is a growth moment that I have been avoiding like the plague. This one is buried underneath a wall that I have secured and spent 27 years building and sustaining.
Thanksgiving, and the Holiday season seem to bring about a warmth, a sense of openness to compassion and gratitude. For me, while I am grateful and thankful for the MANY blessings in my life, I have a confession. I struggle with compassion and gratitude. Weird right? Not so much when you think about it.
I think, if we are honest, a lot of us find ourselves with the ability to show compassion to those around us, and are grateful for for all the “positive ” things we have experienced and the relationships we have, as well as the provision we are experiencing. But, do we turn that compassion toward ourselves – Are we truly grateful to those who have cared for us, showed us unconditional love? Me? Not always. no.
I take for granted the life I have. I take for granted the compassion people show me. I do not always appreciate the people who have fought for me, with me, and played a role in supporting me. I have been selfish in receiving that love and support. I have taken people’s invitation to spend time with them, as long as it is at their place, in their space, and my space is left alone. I will hang out with people at a separate location other than my place, and I will create a safe place for people to be open and honest with where they are in life, but I do not always allow them to return the favor.
Now, we can go into detail about how some people aren’t safe, I have even wrote a blog on this specific topic. But, the thing is, the place I am at is; Once we realize who is safe and who is not, what do we do then?
For me, I have realized those things. I have gained a better understanding of who is safe and who is not safe, and what is appropriate , and what is not appropriate. But . I am still functioning in a closed of, barricaded way of living. I have an idea of what openness is, and I can verbally tell you the right answer of “how its suppose to go.” But am I walking that out? No.
So , to get out of my head, to make change really happen, my goal is to continue to take steps to show compassion, to be gracious. And to truly love those around me.
I love you all. Happy thanksgiving. Be blessed and encouraged.
Rachael
Accepting The Peace 