Words of affirmation is one of my love languages. I have to be careful about this though because there is a balance between words of affirmation as encouragement, and having people’s approval in everything you do.
One of the hardest truths I have had to come to terms with is that not everyone will like me or see my true intentions.
Sometimes, If someone questions my sincerity or my motives, I get anxious and my mind starts telling stories that I grab onto. It looks something like this.
Person may say “She’s got you fooled”
I think, “they think I am being dishonest, I am not being dishonest, they hate me, maybe I did something they think was dishonest. I am a fraud. I suck at life. I need to prove to them that I am honest and trustworthy. I don’t know what they want from me. I can never measure up. This is pointless.”.. And so on.
Its rough. But, here is the thing. The thing that brought me freedom from this. The only one who has the authority and wisdom to know the motives of my heart are me, and if you are a person of faith, God. This is another place where mindfulness has broken a lot of bondage off of me. The moment that I was able to become aware of the places where I was allowing people the authority over my intentions and motives, was the moment I was able to change the trajectory of my thought life. Here is the truth: Do I strive daily to have pure motives and serve people in a life-giving , supportive way? Yes. Do I always succeed in this, No. Does the fact that sometimes I don’t succeed in this daily mean that all of the other times that I did strive to be a life giving, supportive , loving person are void. NO! It does not. Also, does it mean that those moments of service are insincere? Absolutely not. But, sometimes, I let the opinions of people fog my view. I work daily to come to a place of peace in this, and live a life not centered around the opinions of others. It’s a daily process for sure.
What places are you allowing the opinions of people to shape your view ?
What needs to change?
Are you showing compassion to yourself and those around you for the places what need adjusting?
Be encouraged friends.
Rachael
